Oh hey there! It's been a while. I've been busy with moving, packing, unpacking, working, and other such things. I am now (finally) moved into my new first real apartment. Hello adulthood, hello bills, hello new chapter. My life is no longer ruled by the excessive piles of homework demanded by teachers and deadlines. I was suddenly handed a free ticket proving I not only have brains but also given unlimited access to the brave new world, ready for a new challenge to conquer whatever comes my way.
Now, I have a real grown up job. I'll I do is sort loan applications, highlight, and package. Eight hours a day. Seven days a week. When I got my first paycheck, I thought, "Woohoo! Now I can go shopping and have fun and buy things I've always wanted!" But then the rent bill came.... and then I had to get gas.... and I also needed food..... and then and then and then. Before I knew it, my paycheck went down to nothing. What was that thing parents try to teach their kids? You know with the chores? Oh yes. Responsibility. I just got handed more of that rather long word that starts with an R.
When I was a kid I couldn't wait to get to this chapter, to be on my own, have my own place, and have fun like a normal 20-something college grad. But what they don't tell you, or maybe I should put it this way, what I could not bring myself to understand, was the new amounts of responsibility. Yes it's true I've graduated from books and deadlines, however, there are new deadlines. I now have to pay rent every month, on top of having to pay off loans. Then I was told to start thinking about car insurance and phone bills and internet. So now that I've been through all that, I somehow feel that leash holding me down again. Just when I thought I was free as a bird, I swear someone was laughing as that gate to freedom was closed shut. Mounds of homework has now been replaced by mounds of bills. I guess this is the life. I do know one thing though, God will never give me more than I can handle. If He brought me to a school (and kept me there) then He won't abandon me under an entire mountain of debt. He knows and he has a plan. I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and just enjoy this stage where I'm at.
One verse that has been helping me lately is in Hebrews. "For we have this hope as an anchor" I love the truth in this verse. I also am a sucker for all things nautical. God is my anchor and will keep me afloat when I don't think it's going to work out at all. When a ship does not have an anchor, it will go wherever the current takes it and get lost at sea, or fall apart in the middle of a storm. He is my guide and my anchor. He has led me clear through college. He would not abandon me now, so I have to trust that I will get it all paid off.
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