The Waiting Game

It's been two weeks since I graduated and it's been two weeks since I have been searching for a job. The status: unemployed. It's a bit daunting to say the least. When I know that God will provide for my every need, I still get a little antsy at times. I'll admit, I'm kind of impatient right now. I think in our culture we are so caught up in being busy and always having something going on that we never take time to even smell the roses. We have to schedule time to smell the roses. I have applied to so many places and haven't heard from anything yet. I'm also going through a couple temp agencies and both said that managers aren't willing to commit. I guess I'm just gonna have to keep playing this waiting game.

What am I doing in the mean time? Keeping busy. Since I am only granted sunlight for four hours each day in my dungeon of an apartment, I have been seeking sunlight other places (A.K.A. outside). I have been seeking fresh air and going for walks. Usually what I've been doing is taking my new camera along, plugging in my newly found ipod, and just spending time with Jesus, enjoying His creation. I have been forcing myself to get out at least once a day to at least feel like I've accomplished something, even if that meant taking pictures. I've also been watching A LOT of Netflix. I'm changing it so that I am now only watching it at night or if it's rainy. After several days of doing the same thing over and over again, it gets a bit boring, I'll admit. Especially doing it on my own.

For about a day I started feeling like I didn't have any friends because no one has really called me. You know how that goes. Everyone at some point has gone through that. Well, then I realized that I should call all my friends and let them know that I am available. Once I did, I started to get busy again. Now, in the mean time of trying to find a job, I am not only hanging out in the dungeon and reading a book, I am also getting out. Last night I also had a freak out moment over not having a job. After two weeks, it can be a bit hard. It doesn't look like anything promising is coming. Well, I was reminded that God has everything in control. He has promised that He would take care of me. So I am now going to enjoy this time while I have it. I know God has it under control and there is no need for me to worry. My God is a God of promises. He is faithful to the end and even then, He will never fail. He is so unbelievably patient. I absolutely do not deserve His love or His promises but He gives them anyways because He delights in me.

To those waiting on God's promises, this is for you. I just finished the book of John and I came across the story of the blind man. The one that Jesus put mud in his eyes and spit on them and then told him to go wash up. People would ask if this man was blind because his parents did something wrong or if he had sinned. Then Jesus said, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." I have this as a reminder. It's not that this period of unemployment is a punishment for me, but it's a time of rest, renewal, and a time for God to show once again that He is God. It also says in Matthew that He cares for the needs of the sparrows. If He cares so much about the needs of the sparrows, you think He'll care more about your own needs? God's plans are always better than we ever planned for ourselves. We just have to play the waiting game with Him.

The Tale of the Lost Lens Cap

So for graduation, I got a DSLR camera. I had been dreaming about owning one since I was about 17. I just about cried when I opened it. I didn't think it was real for a while. I had been dreaming about this camera for so long that that's all it seemed to be, just a dream. I have always loved photography since the day I bought (with my own money I might add) my first camera. I had always wanted to be a photographer. In case you were wondering how old I was when I started talking pictures, I was 6. I had a little hot pink 110 exposure camera with a lime green bracelet. I was so proud of that thing. I took it everywhere with me. From this camera birthed the desire to be a photographer and capture memories. Well, fast forward 18 years and now I have a state of the art camera that I can switch out the lenses. This is my baby. I am extremely proud to be the owner of this camera. I can do so many things with it that I could only dream of doing with a straight shot. Well, to make a long story short, I lost my lens cap. I had no idea where it was. It was way after I had left the park that I realized it was gone. I searched through all my things and it was no where to be found. I was slightly frustrated because here I have a brand new camera and what do I do? I loose the lens cap. Great!

While I was searching my apartment I kept getting a feeling that it was at that park. So I drove all the way to the park. It's funny to think that I would waste gas and energy just for a small piece of plastic. Although that may be all it will ever be for some people, that worthless piece of plastic fits on my lens just perfectly to protect from scratching. Nothing else could take its place. So if I did not have that lens cap, it would scratch my lens and the quality of my photos would be horrible. Hence a now worthless lens. But I drove to this park and when  I got out of the car, I had a feeling I needed to walk to the second bench. So I did and I stood there looking at the ground and I found myself saying, "Ok, now what?" then I got the feeling I needed to turn left. And there it was. I had never seen anything so beautiful. My lens cap just sitting in the grass waiting for me to come and rescue it.

In that moment I was so overwhelmed by the love God has for me. He led me every step of the way. He told me exactly where it was. The thing that gets me is that He is such a great God that He didn't even have to worry about my lens cap. It's something so huge in my life, but so small and insignificant in His. But yet, He loved me so much to take care of my camera because He knows how much that camera means to me. I realized, God has everything under control. He has control over my job, my finances, and my life. If He can show concern about a little worthless piece of plastic, He is more concerned about the bigger things in my life. Wow! What a great God I serve! Thank you Jesus for showing me where my lens cap was.

Memories

Lately, all I've been thinking about are all the good times I've had here at North Central. I have so many fond memories of my time here. Here is a brief journey of my college experiences.

Freshman Year:

My first Funky Night. It was also my first night living in the dorms. I was so scared and insecure. I felt like such a dork wearing that outfit. My family kept making sure I would go. I almost didn't. I'm so glad I did.

This was taken at fall retreat. Drea was my first friend at North Central. We actually met at orientation. We became roommates second semester.

 

My third missions trip. Utah March '08. I never would have thought of going somewhere else in the States for a missions trip. But I learned so much. I'm still friends with one of them.

Sophomore Year:

This is actually one of my favorite memories. None of us had ever been to the Build-A-Bear workshop and wanted to make a day out of it. We took the lightrail to the MOA and we ended up getting matching bears. I still have mine.

When attending North Central, it is a necessity to get at least one set of silhouette pictures against the red wall at the Guthrie. My floor, 4 Central, went out for a Life Core event to just have fun taking pictures. I will never forget this. It was such a fun night. 

THIS was my second fall retreat. Yes I just realized I was wearing the same sweatshirt as I did the year prior. And also take note of the length of my hair. Holy cow! This was actually the best brother sister floor, 4 Central and 1 West. We decided to go out to the park and jump the slide... or attempt. Every one got a turn and everyone made it... eventually. :)

We're just some hot babes goin' out on the town for our last bro/sis event to Annie's Parlor.

4 Central floor picture. I loved this floor and made friends that will last forever. 

Junior Year:

Best friends. Life would be so hard without them. 

She is always cracking me up! She always has the funniest expressions. I love her. 

This is the summer after my junior year. Spent a month with all these wonderful people for my ICS field trip. This is the real deal. The Taj Mahal is such a spectacular sight. I am so grateful for this experience and the chance to get to know everyone on this trip. I've grown so much on this trip. 

Senior Year:

We were on our way to the apple orchard for a bro/sis event. It was so fun to take pictures and bond with our floors. The apple orchard is always great to go to in the fall.

Spies for Halloween.

We went out swing dancing and had a great time. Fell in love with the dance and grew an interest to pursue it more.

My roommate, Caiti Jo, was changing her sheets and what better place to stack everything than on the roommate? 

Last day of seeing Courtney before she moved to Japan. We realized we didn't have any pictures together. So we decided to change that.

Fulfilled my lifelong dream of going to Europe. I spent to months in Germany for my internship. While being there, I fell in love the historical cities and the beautiful people. Germany will forever have a stamp on my heart.

Super Senior:

Casey Mack got married! It was such a great roadtrip and so fun to hang out with the old floor again. Casey was a beautiful bride. Absolutely stunning.

Mia had a birthday and we went out to celebrate. It was so fun celebrating at The Melting Pot.

Liz and I partnered for Intercultural Studies. We made a great team. I was blown away by this event. Typically we had 5 people show up, this one, we had 18 people show up to pumpkin carving event. 

I was on Ninedays Prayer Team this year. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would ever be on a prayer team, let alone praying for a specific team. It was an amazing time getting to know everyone on the team and being stretched in a powerful way. I look back on this as a time when I grew so much.

Our class was invited to hang out at the Wajda's. I have never had so much fun. I really enjoyed the conversations and the laughs. I am so happy for the connections I have made while being here at NCU. Can't wait to see where everyone ends up.

Tada! I did it! All those years of blood, sweat, and tears have finally paid off. I honestly did not think this day was possible for myself. I have grown so much into the person I am today. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for God. He kept me going strong all these years. Thank you Jesus for keeping your promises.

Thank you for walking through memory lane with me. It was great revisiting some of these old memories that I am so fond of. I have had my share of laughter and my share of tears. I've made so many friends along the way that will last a lifetime. Now I must close this chapter of my life. A chapter consisted of late night Burger King runs, random hang outs that go well into the morning, inside jokes that only the floor will understand, and community right outside my door. A chapter full of amazing chapel services, moments when I grew and I met with God at the altar, Praise Gathering services, prayer rooms, and deep discussions about God with friends. A phase consisted of cramming for tests, working all hours of the night writing papers, learning how to procrastinate, having coffee at 8 pm due to massive amounts of homework, and learning valuable lessons along the way. This may be cliche and sentimental, but this has been 5 years of my life. One of which I am now forced to now close this chapter forever. Although I have to say goodbye to one phase of my life, I am now happy to open another chapter. This chapter does not yet have a title.... or maybe it does. I think I'll call it "Living." So hello to no homework and doing life how I want to. Hello to never having to write another paper again (for a while at least). And..... hello debt.