Surrender

You know when you pray for God to move you but when you find out what that means, you get stubborn? That would be called being human. It's a flaw I'm afraid we all have. But what good does it do to be stubborn? Nothing. When we decide not to obey God, life is all the more miserable. Things don't work out the way we planned. So what do we end up saying in the midst of our misery? We cry out for God to help us right? Well, what if we chose not to have our own way, take a risk, and obey that still small voice asking us to do the impossible. When you choose to disobey, you are choosing to stay comfortable. That stunts your growth. There is so much I can say about stubbornness, however, that's not what this blog is about, it's about the opposite actually. It's a story about surrender, courage, and faith. When we choose to take a step into the unknown and do what we think is impossible by taking a risk, that is when we grow and mold into the person God has created.

At the beginning of summer, I took a risk just moving back to Duluth. I had a job in the cities, with decent pay and weekends off. However, that was not the life God had for me. He had a very simple request, and that was to move back home. For my entire time living in the cities (which was 6 years) I kept saying,"I will never move back there again." Be careful what you tell God. He did just that. I was stubborn about it for awhile but realized this was a step I so desperately needed to take. Moving back was a risk in itself because I hadn't a job to go to. People asked about that and I would just tell them I have family I can live with until I find a job. I knew God would provide, but sometimes it's hard to explain to other people. So through much prayer, I decided to follow that still small voice. It's true, I didn't have money. I had to pay for bills. I didn't have a place to live but I was able to live temporarily with family.

You can even see my frustration in my previous blogs. When I'm frustrated, I start praying. It's hard being in those moments of frustration but what comes out of it is beautiful. We are then placed in a state of desperation. I'm not saying I necessarily love being frustrated. I hate it. But in the season of frustration and desperation, there was nothing else for me to do but to go to my knees.

I was getting pretty desperate. I had 9 interviews. Nine. Do you know how frustrated and desperate I was? At some point I was ready to take anything. Then one day I said, "Lord, you know what you're doing. I need a job and at this point only you can provide that for me. Do what you want Lord. What I want at this point doesn't matter." And then I got a call. It was the call I was waiting for. I got a job! And then in the midst of that, God provided a place to live, that was cheap. I was skeptical at first because it seemed to have happened so fast. What I wanted was to get my finances settled and figure things out after that. Apparently God had other plans. It wasn't  just the timing I was worried about, it was where I would move to.

In this season of waiting, I was reading Genesis. I stumbled upon the story of Noah. We all know and understand that he built a boat in the middle of the desert, got mocked, and essentially became a zookeeper on water. It's incredible. But what came next really made me stop and think. Noah had his family on this giant boat, larger than a cruise ship, carrying every single animal on earth. Can you imagine the stench? When I walk into a zoo, I sometimes have to plug my nose because it's so aweful. Noah had to endure that, feed the animals, and take care of his family. And it was for 3 years. Three years! They were in the middle of a storm for that long. Through it all, Noah still trusted God. He sent out a bird several times with no result. He knew he was going to get onto dry land but during that period, I'm sure there arose plenty of doubt. Then one day, the bird came back with an olive branch. It took several months to even see the tops of the highest mountain. You all realize the tallest mountain in the world is Everest? They were higher than that! That's incredible to me. God brought them through it. They lived in obedience on the ark the whole time, just waiting. Then finally, there was a sign that God was keeping his promise and was making all that time spent waiting totally worth it, because he remembered them.

Superior, Wisconsin. A land of cows, farmland, and cheeseheads. I never expected to move to Superior. Just like Noah never expected to build an ark in the middle of a desert. But he obeyed. But I am walking in peace because I listened to that still small voice, even though I felt uncertainty. When I was searching all those months for a job, I felt like I was never going to find one. I was in the midst of a storm and I just needed to be faithful, obey, and wait on the Lord. And he did, he kept his promise. I now have a job, I have an apartment, and I am completely blessed with the friends in my life.

No matter what God is asking you to do, don't question. Just obey. God never does what we think makes sense anyways. All he is asking is for our obedience, no matter what that looks like and he will keep his promises.

Inspirations

Sometimes we go through seasons that aren't fun. Things will go out of wack and topsy-turvey. But we must always remember that it's only a season. When I am struggling through life, I cling on to any kind of encouragement to keep me going and motivated. These are some words that have inspired me to press forward. I hope this inspires you as well. 

- Amy 

Moving Tips from the Packing Pro.

Moving. Ugh! It is so obnoxious and such a pain! I have had my fair share of it after doing so twice every year for 6 years. Uffda, right!? Each move has helped me perfect the art of packing and thus, making me a pro. So I decided to enlighten all of you who get the moving headache and have no idea where to put things or how to move them.

You got stuff on hangers? Save yourself the awkward transport and bag them. This tip was taken from Pinterest. It was pretty handy, and SO easy!

Ok. I know, it's a little weird, but if you ever use these, or other boxes of the like, don't throw them away. Use them for your tiny fragiles. Instead of having those knick knacks scattered in boxes, you can have them together and confined. I just wrapped them in newspaper to make sure they were secure and packed these boxes (whatever you want to call them). 

Space bags. These babies are awesome! I've seen these done before and this was the first time I've used them, and it sure won't be the last. It helps so much with packing and condensing everything down so you have more room. 

Happy packing! It's just a few tips but boy did they help.


Amy

A New Chapter: Living out of Boxes and Suitcases

Aaaaahhhhh! It's good to be back on my blog. I've missed it so. I'm sure you're all dying to know how these last (almost) 3 weeks have been. To be honest, it has been surreal. Thinking back on life in Minneapolis has been a dream away. It feels like it's been a year since I had to wake up at 6:00 am daily to go to work and do the same mundane thing everyday. Life at the apartment and church seems like it was a dream. The amazing thing is that it hasn't even been a month. Since moving back to my home city, I have been at peace. I have known for some time that this move was going to happen, and after all those months of praying and seeking the Lord guidance, it finally happened!

My life right now feels like the fish trapped in the aquarium on Finding Nemo. They spend the whole movie coming up with ways to escape. They never gave up. Well, at the very end, like when the credits are rolling, they finally make it to the ever anticipated The Big Blue as Bubbles called it. Each fish is in their own baggy. Once they make it across the street and into the harbor, they end up bobbing in the water and look at each other and one fish says, "Uh.... now what?" That's what my life currently feels like. There was so much anticipation about moving and having a new beginning. I prayed constantly and God's guidance and timing. Once I finally reached that date that was so far away, I'm now sitting here going, "Now what?" I have filled out countless applications, been interviewed many times, and I live in my sister's basement.

In the past, I would be stressed out about finding the right job, the right place to live, etc. But I think because I had spent months praying about this new chapter, I am full of peace and confident that God will have a job for me at the right time. I'm literally just taking this one step at a time. Since my first Sunday back at the church I grew up in, I have felt more peace. I know this is where I should be right now. Prayers have been answered about getting involved with a small group. I've been going every week since I came back and I feel so blessed to be apart of this group.

Right now I would love to unpack all of my things, take the rest of my stuff out of storage, and settle in. But I obviously can't because I don't have a job. In order to have a job, I need to pay for a place to live so I can settle in. Each day I have literally been letting God lead me. So if you think of it, pray for me. Pray that I find a job with a consistent schedule with benefits and decent pay. You can also pray that I can walk in God's peace.

Amy

I'm a Big Kid Now!

Adulthood. That word has so much meaning. When I think of it, I think of independence. I remember when I was a teenager and I wanted so badly to be independent. If you know me well enough, you know how much I value that word: independence. I have always dreamed of having my own car, having an awesome job, living on my own and placing my own stamp on the world. I often ignored those who were struggling adults when they said, "It's not all it's cut out to be." Conversations I would overhear would essentially be engrossed around bills. Of course being a kid, I was a little naiive to think that I could make it without struggling. Being in debt was not something I even considered. I remember overhearing such conversations between a 30-something or 40-something to a struggling 20-something giving advice. The struggling 20-something would list off all the things they are paying for, such as student loans, rent, car payments, food, and other things that tend to suck you dry. They would talk about how none of their furniture doesn't match because they are either from thrift stores, rummage sales, or hand-me-downs.

 I always looked up to those 20-somethings because they were living an exciting life. They were on their own, paying for their own way through, although it's with Ramen Noodles, they are doing it.

I don't know how or when this happened, but I just woke up one morning and I suddenly became one of those 20-somethings I looked up to. Not only that, but I had all these bills to pay. I have been struggling to pay for student loans, paying my medical bills, car insurance, my own food, rent, and what have you. Last week my car quit working. I saw it coming but it was still inconvenient to have to work around it. My car was having trouble starting for about a week and then that dreaded day. It didn't turn on. It refused to do such a task. Luckily it happened in the parking lot at the auto shop. (Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Jesus!) It could have been anywhere. I am so happy it didn't happen in the parking ramp at my work. I am enormously grateful my car stopped working where it happened because that meant I wouldn't even have to pay for a tow truck.

I had to miss work. That's life I'm afraid. I had debated on going in to work via public transport, or stay home until the mechanic called. I opted to stay home because I don't know the system well, and the big reason to stay home is that I didn't know when my car would be finished. I got the call from the mechanic and he estimated the cost to be $420. My thoughts were spinning and all I could think of was,"That's a lot of money." I called a couple other places to make sure they weren't taking advantage of me. I felt better knowing that this is the right price and even a bit cheaper than the other places. When I went to pay for the repairs and collect my car, he told me I only needed to pay $404. I asked him to repeat that again and needed to confirm that was the right price. According to the other shops I called, I saved myself $31 and even $50. It's a small difference compared to what I had to pay but God is good because that is all I had in my savings account. Anything more I would've had to try to figure something out.

I may have wiped out my savings but I drove away from that shop with a smile because I paid for that repair all on my own. In case you're wondering what was wrong with my car, it needed a new starter. Since I couldn't afford to miss another full day of work on my paycheck, I went straight to my job and did a half day and then went back the next day (on a Saturday) to work 5 more hours. This 20-something needs all the money she can earn.

Amy

My Favorite Day

Being a student, it only became natural to say that Saturday was my favorite day of the week. I think everyone can relate. I remember loathing Monday mornings because I had to get up early, and then work for 5 days straight. Being in college, my schedule would change with each semester, sometimes giving me a new favorite day. Each one had a different reason for being my favorite.

Now I'm a college grad working full time. My current favorite day of the week is still Saturday. It was my favorite in school, in college, and afterwards. I hate waking up early in the morning, especially when early means 6:00 am. I am most definitely a night owl. Among friends, I would be considered an early bird by getting up at 8:00 am. I'll be honest, I love that snooze button. Some of you are probably yelling at your computer expressing your frustration about waking up when the alarm goes off and what's the point in continually pressing the snooze. I understand that. But for someone who is not a morning person, that snooze button allows me to wake up gradually in the morning. On Saturdays, I don't have an alarm waking me up. I get up whenever I wake up, which is usually around 8:00.

Since I am always on the run in the morning, I never have time to make the best breakfast ever, so I make them on my favorite day. I love whipping some eggs together, brewing some coffee, and getting my Bible open. I LOVE coffee and I LOVE digging in the Word. Being able to take my time in the morning, spending time with the Lord (before my roommates wake up) ushers in a great day. This is also a strange fact about me that I love to wake up before everyone else. I love the quiet before the day. It's calming and brings in a great day.

Sometimes I'll spend the rest of the day reading a book or watching movies. Sometimes I'll spend it organizing and cleaning. Almost every Saturday, I am doing things that need to get done and then when it's over, I feel accomplished. That feeling after it's all done is the best feeling and when I go to bed, my last thought is always "This was a great day!" It's usually just spent relaxing and doing what makes me feel regenerated from the week.

Happy Saturday!

Amy

Transitions are so HARD!

God has a habit of creating order out of chaos. With every storm passed and every season changed, He has been my Anchor, my Shepherd, and my Rock. He has been the One I turned to in hard times and in times of confusion. Through every transition, God has proved how big He is and I have once again run out of reasons why I should not trust Him. After every season, my faith in Him is that much stronger.

The past few months have certainly been a whirlwind. I thought God was leading me towards one thing when I discovered He was ushering me into a completely new chapter altogether. It was totally out-of-the-blue and unexpected. But after much prayer, I realized this new change is good. I moved to Minneapolis 6 years ago embarking on a new adventure and discovering who I was in a great big city. Now after 6 years, God suddenly decided I was ready for a new adventure. In just a couple months, I will be moving back to Duluth. If I was asked even a year ago if I'd consider moving back, I'd answer flat out no. This change of direction in my sails just changed withing a day, within an evening really. I have been amazed at how things have started to fall into place. I've never been so sure of anything. God is my Shepherd leading me to a new pasture.

The people I had told have prayed with me on this and they all agreed this is good for me. I have had confirmations coming here and there. I started to get excited and now I can't wait to move back. It's time for me to come home. In the past two weeks of prayer, God has consistently given me a peace and that He is the One in control. In the past, I would be a ball of nerves especially without knowing if I'll have a job or a place to live. But whenever I've prayed I've really had a peace that this is the Lord's leading and I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

I just finished reading the book of Exodus and it struck me when I came to the part that the Israelites were being led by a cloud by day a pillar of fire by night. They always knew God was leading them and where He was going. They had no reason to worry at all because God was leading the way. When I finished it, the last few verses explained it again and said that whenever the Israelites saw the cloud and pillar of fire, they stayed. And when it was moving, so did they. I realized that I have no reason to be in control. God knows where my foot will go and all I need to do is obey. I know God keeps His promises and I just need to have faith that God will stay true to His word.