Seasons

Well, we've only got one more day left of 2012. When coming to the end of a year, we begin to reflect on memories, challenges, triumphs, and the little joys along the way. This has been a year of transition for me. My year began with my last semester in college. It was surreal having to say goodbye to a place I called home for five years. But it was only a detour, a place to go temporarily to receive the tools necessary for my future. And then graduation came. It was a day that I had been waiting so long. It was a day of promise for me. I struggled all those years and at times it was difficult for me to comprehend that I will actually get to walk across that stage and receive a piece of paper. Although to some it may be just that. But to me it is so much more. It not only says I am capable, but it is also my proof of victory. When I got my little piece of paper signed by a few people with a stamp of recognition, I felt accomplished. I have my diploma.

So then comes the many questions of "So what next?" Many people may be annoyed by how many times they've been asked. I welcome them because it invites me to share my dreams. There have been times when I thought "Now what?" I went through all those years and so what now? I have lived the next seven months just step-by-step. I didn't have a job when I graduated and a month later I got a call for one. One in which I'm still working. I also have a great place to live. I don't know what things will look like after my lease is up, but this is where I'm at. 

Soon I have to start paying off student loans. It is so intimidating to think of that. But I know my God is so much bigger than my school debt. He kept me at this school and I know he will provide for me to pay it off in his timing. I have learned in these past five years to not worry about it. Of course since I am human, I am not immune to "Worry Wart Syndrome" but it has become easier for me to put complete faith in God. 

Part of what I've learned post graduation is having to spend my own time with God. Meaning, I have to be proactive about my relationship with God. This is also going through a transition. I don't necessarily like being in a transitional period. But after it's done, I see how much I've grown. Being in a Christian college was so easy to have "God-time" all the time. In my time of alone time with God I have just learned to be still and live. I really believe this is the season I am in right now. I am not given any direction at the moment but I know I will be ready when I do.

As I look forward to the new year, I really believe this will be a year of renewal and change. We never know what to expect but for now, I'm just praying and waiting on the Lord. Dwelling in his presence is all I need. He has sustained me, provided for me, encouraged me, and guided me. So now there is even more reason for me to be still, be joyful, and have faith. 

My Passions

I love talking about my passions. It's what keeps me focused and makes the passion stronger. One of my strengths is Futuristic. That makes so much sense! I could seriously get lost in wonderland and just dream my whole life. I love telling people what I want to be when I grow up. I love sharing my dreams and what has been on my heart. The thing I also love is when I'm done sharing my dreams, I start to see wheels turning on some dreams that others may have. So then it becomes their turn. It's so fun for me! So I'm going to use this blog entry to dream and share with you the things that keep me moving. Hopefully this will inspire you.

My number one passion is God. I am absolutely 100% head-over-heels for him. I love serving him and being completely surprised in the end. I know he has taken care of me throughout the span of my life and there is no reason why he would just leave me in the dust, even though I have done worse to him. There are times I have put things on the shelf and God has reminded me that his plan is greater than my own. Sometimes, by putting it on the shelf, I had to put away my own desires and what I perceive and then God shows me something even better. Once I see what he has, I know longer want the thing I had wanted, or not exactly in the same way. And just when I think I've figured  God out, he throws something else wonderful at me and it just causes me to worship him. 

I love missions. I have had a heart for it since I was 16. Every year, that dream would get stronger and more real. People who knew this about me would check up on me and see if this is still what I want to do, and I would always answer "Absolutely." I had never seen myself as a missionary but things just started to change and my heart started to grow for it. As I prayed about where I was supposed to be a missionary, I also grew an enormous heart for Sweden. I love Sweden. I am in love with Europe. I truly believe Europe needs God. I would tell people I want to go to Sweden some day to be a missionary and they always would give me a strange look and ask me why. It's my heart. Then I started to realize my passion for church and then that sort of evolved to church planting. I want to be a church planter and would love to start in Sweden and go to other countries if possible. 

When I was in Germany doing my internship, I always needed a translator. Every time it got to a point where I needed someone to translate for me, I found myself wanting to be on the other side. I wanted to be the person translating. I have always wanted to be fluent in another language. Since then, my passion to translate has grown, and continues to do so. 

Ever since I have had a camera of my own, I've wanted to be a photographer. I love taking pictures and capturing the moment. I love being artistic with the camera and using different angles. I love what a picture says without saying anything. I love just taking a picture and finding out how it has turned out. I love those moments when you see a picture and it just takes your breath away, and there really are no words to describe it. 

So this is my dream, I want to plant churches in northern Europe, become a professional translator, and a professional photographer. I believe the richer countries also need the love of Jesus. I believe in the Bride of Christ and what it represents. I love it. I love how the church is so complex but so simple and I want to teach people how to be a leader in church and allow them to make it their own. I want to be fluent in other languages because I believe it would be beneficial for my ministry but I also want to be able to use a work visa in places where missionaries are not allowed. I also believe in the power of a picture. I want to take pictures of my travels and the missions trips I've been on and show it for everyone else. I want to use it for my church, or for when I am itinerating. I believe missions can use any means, including technology.

I hope this inspires you to dream big and to keep dreaming.

On the Issue of Settling

When I was on my way to work this morning, I was disturbed by the topic of discussion. The topic was "Should we be settling for Mr. Good-Enough?" I was shocked at the amount of callers. One woman called who had a settled marriage. She said she had dated a series of guys and felt like she wasn't going to find that Knight in Shining Armor. So she settled. She said she had been married for 11 years and there was no spark. The reason she chose him is because he seems to be the best option and would be a good father and husband. But there was nothing in her voice indicating that she was happy. I was listening to the dialogue between the D.J.s and one of them was saying that as little girls we are taught that there is a Prince Charming and he will be perfect, we just need to wait. She said in all reality, there is no Prince Charming, we need to get our head's out of the clouds and live in reality. 

I disagree 100%. I do not think anyone should settle for anything. If we settled in life, what in the world is our purpose then? I have dreams of getting married and having a family. But I will never settle. I have too much self respect for that. It's not worth it. I would rather live the rest of my life single than settle for less. People have told me that my standards are too high and that I need to be more realistic. I'm not looking for 10 boyfriends. I'm looking for just 1 man. One man that I will spend the rest of my life with, and happy. So out of a couple billion people living on this planet and only one man of my dreams, I will absolutely be picky. There is no shame. 

I don't want to settle for anything and I don't want to be someone on the other end. That's not fair for me and it's not fair for the other person and certainly not fair for potential kids. I want to fall in love and I want my future husband to be madly in love with me, because I am perfect for him. I don't want to be Ms. Good-Enough I want to be Mrs. Perfect for Him. 

I have dreams. Dreams that are worth fighting for. Since I was a kid I had dreamed of going to college and graduating with a degree. When I was in high school it seemed impossible to even graduate that. But I fought. I could have settled and just gotten my G.E.D. But that wouldn't have been fair to myself. I wouldn't have been happy. College was an absolute struggle but I don't regret it. In fact, I consider it one of my biggest accomplishments. I can proudly look back and say that it was worth it. I graduated and I got that degree. I fought because I did not want to settle for less. I knew my life was worth more than this. 

In I Samuel, Hannah wanted so badly to be a mother. She cried and prayed about this dream she had. Her husbands other wife had plenty of kids and was not nice about it either. She bragged and showed off. She told Hannah to give up and said she would never be a mother. But Hannah would never settle. She wanted this so bad. And finally, her prayers were answered. She had a little boy and gave him back to God and since then, she was blessed with several more. If she had settled, she would not have been a mother at all. She would have given up and listened to the other woman. But she didn't. She pursued and fought.

So, Dear Reader, you and your dreams are worth the fight. That guy you've been dreaming about is worth waiting for. You are worth more than just settling. Fight for that dream that is within you.

South Dakota

Here you go, the moment you've been waiting for. The story of my road trip to South Dakota. With a 10 hour drive ahead of us and a cup of coffee in hand, maps, and some good tunes, we were more than set. Now, once you cross the border of South Dakota, the vegetation becomes more and more scarce. Instead of seeing billboards for shopping, or possibly hiking, we get signs for the famous Wall Drug. It was well over half way through the trip of listening to the radio and singing at the top of our lungs, that one of my worst fears happened. A flat tire. Not just a flat tire mind you, but it was completely shredded. In the middle of a South Dakota highway. Luckily we had AAA but there was only so much he could do. Once the spare was put on, he told us we were good to go. We informed the man that we were from out of state and have absolutely no place to go. A call was made and unfortunately there was nothing with the size tire I needed. He said our only hope is to drive to Rapid City. This said city is 120 miles from our spot. When we asked him if we can make it, he just said maybe if we are lucky. We were also told not to go over 60mph. Awesome. At that moment we felt so hopeless. The good thing is that we gained an hour by crossing the time zone. And wouldn't ya know, after 2 1/2 hours of driving 50mph, we FINALLY made it Rapid City. We were very frustrated and tired at that point. And the story does not end here. Oh no! There is more.

Once we got a new set of tires, we headed off to drive another hour to our campsite, which at this point was dark. Setting up a tent in the dark isn't necessarily the most desirable or the easiest. We gave it a shot and when we realized the feat could not be done, we looked at the car and realized that would be our bed for the night. It was so cold! I kept adding layers of blankets and it still wasn't warm enough. I started loathing the module dividing my friend and I as I know if we could cuddle, we would be warmer. The temperature reached down to 42 degrees. Yikes! It took until noon to thaw from sleeping in the frigid car. 

And yet..... there is more to tell of this fateful trip. Once we got our weekend getaway home set up, we noticed on the campsite rules that there was a fire ban. I mean this is extreme. It's so extreme that if you were to smoke your cigarette, you'd have to do so in your car with the windows closed. Resulting from this fire ban is excessive heat (I mean the temperature outside) and extremely dry vegetation. This fire ban caused a lot of problems for us, this was our source for cooking. In the trunk of my car was a cooler filled with meat. So you can imagine this dilemma. We were told we were allowed to use a gas burner, which meant we had drive back to Rapid City to purchase one. 

And the fun continues...

The trip wasn't all a disaster. In fact now that I look back, I have to laugh. Despite all that, we got to see Mount Rushmore. It was pretty cool. I liked to be able to finally see it and mark off my Bucket List. And the next day we also went to a cave which was only 7 minutes from our campsite. However, when we arrived to retrieve our tickets, we were told the tour we were supposed to take was cancelled because the elevator broke. So they let us take a different tour which requires carrying a lantern and bending and stooping. You can imagine how nervous we were. Since we had more time than planned, they told us we could hike there and take either the short way or the long way. We decided to hike and save on gas a little and take the short hike. We accidentally took the long hike through Hell's Canyon. That is the real name. The hike was long and grueling and didn't help with all the dead wood from a fire that happened 12 years ago. Once we got there we had to wait for an hour for the tour. After having gone through it, it was fun. I enjoyed it. It wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. It was scary because I didn't know what to expect.

All in all, it was a good trip with a lot of laughs and I can look back and say I've learned and I can take that for the next trip.

Courtesy of a fellow photographer who knows what he's doing.
Thanks Mr. Photographer Man
for making it a decent picture. 

The "R" Word

Oh hey there! It's been a while. I've been busy with moving, packing, unpacking, working, and other such things. I am now (finally) moved into my new first real apartment. Hello adulthood, hello bills, hello new chapter. My life is no longer ruled by the excessive piles of homework demanded by teachers and deadlines. I was suddenly handed a free ticket proving I not only have brains but also given unlimited access to the brave new world, ready for a new challenge to conquer whatever comes my way.

Now, I have a real grown up job. I'll I do is sort loan applications, highlight, and package. Eight hours a day. Seven days a week. When I got my first paycheck, I thought, "Woohoo! Now I can go shopping and have fun and buy things I've always wanted!" But then the rent bill came.... and then I had to get gas.... and I also needed food..... and then and then and then. Before I knew it, my paycheck went down to nothing. What was that thing parents try to teach their kids? You know with the chores? Oh yes. Responsibility. I just got handed more of that rather long word that starts with an R.

When I was a kid I couldn't wait to get to this chapter, to be on my own, have my own place, and have fun like a normal 20-something college grad. But what they don't tell you, or maybe I should put it this way, what I could not bring myself to understand, was the new amounts of responsibility. Yes it's true I've graduated from books and deadlines, however, there are new deadlines. I now have to pay rent every month, on top of   having to pay off loans. Then I was told to start thinking about car insurance and phone bills and internet. So now that I've been through all that, I somehow feel that leash holding me down again. Just when I thought I was free as a bird, I swear someone was laughing as that gate to freedom was closed shut. Mounds of homework has now been replaced by mounds of bills. I guess this is the life. I do know one thing though, God will never give me more than I can handle. If He brought me to a school (and kept me there) then He won't abandon me under an entire mountain of debt. He knows and he has a plan. I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and just enjoy this stage where I'm at.

One verse that has been helping me lately is in Hebrews. "For we have this hope as an anchor" I love the truth in this verse. I also am a sucker for all things nautical. God is my anchor and will keep me afloat when I don't think it's going to work out at all. When a ship does not have an anchor, it will go wherever the current takes it and get lost at sea, or fall apart in the middle of a storm. He is my guide and my anchor. He has led me clear through college. He would not abandon me now, so I have to trust that I will get it all paid off.

Praising in the Storm

Since yesterday I have heard so many stories about the flood in Duluth. It's the topic of conversation everywhere. Now, at first I was thinking it was just a neighborhood, that happens from time to time if there is enough rain. But I started seeing people posting their facebook statuses about a flooding and that the rain won't stop. At first I was really skeptical and that people were over exaggerating, you know how they can be. Believe me, if you have ever been there, you will know the amount of hills it has, therefore, making it impossible to flood. But, they also said the Titanic was impossible to sink.

The more I heard about this, the more serious I realized this really was. I had seen countless pictures of this unprecedented event taking place. I couldn't take my eyes off them. This was evidence from my fellow city dwellers that our city "set on a hill that could never flood" is indeed.... flooding. There was only one word that came to mind, astonishment. I was astonished at the amount of water flooding the streets that I had grown up knowing this could never happen. I couldn't stop talking about it. My mind was on it all day. All I wanted was to be with my family and know that they were ok. This event got so extreme, it made it to national news. It was declared to be in a state of emergency. Roads are completely flooded, cars submerged under water. Stores, restaurants, and homes with water half way up the door, and still rising. Sink holes everywhere, engulfing cars as they collapse. Road immersions every which way, taking out bridges, and wiping out streets as we know it. Zoo animals escape and others die in the midst. Chaos everywhere. The whole city is turning upside down. You may even think the world is coming to an end.

Now, among the chaos, there are so many survival stories. Stories that leave you wondering how they survived. Like the boy in Proctor. He should have drowned. But he survived that journey in the water. If the man who saved him had not heard him, he probably would have. My dad even saved a toddler. I'm gonna brag on him a little bit. (Consider this my Father's Day present to you Dad) My dad is a city bus driver. He's the one that makes it possible for you to go to work, make it to your doctor's appointment, go shopping, or hang out at the beach. On this unfortunate day, he still had to work. But he found a stroller being washed away in the middle of the street. When he looked a little closer he saw a child was inside. So he used his common sense and ran after the kid. He says he didn't do much because the curb stopped it, but I still believe he was that child's hero that day. Who knows how long that kid would have been there if my dad had not taken action. You're a hero Dad whether you think you are or not.

I have also heard the infamous story of how the zoo animals got loose in Duluth. The polar bear got out of her cage. Some say she was just perched on a rock, never leaving the zoo. Others say she was actually roaming around Duluth. I don't really know, but the point of it is that they caught her and tranquilized her. The seals escaped, but they caught them way before they made it to the Lake, making it impossible to find them. You may look at this destructive event as just that, a freak of nature that is terrorizing a peaceful city. But how many casualties were there? None as far as I know.

Although this is an unfortunate event, destroying cars and sentimental items, there were no casualties. Think about it. God seriously has His hand on Duluth. There are many more stories that people survived when they shouldn't have. God knew that the city was not prepared for a flood. He knew how chaotic it could be. And He took care of it. People are joking about this and calling this Noah's Ark. People are getting their canoes and kayaks out and using the ATMs. :) My God took care of my city. My God answers prayers and He protected those who were not prepared and didn't know how to. In the midst of chaos, I have to praise God. I am completely astonished that Duluth could even have a flood and even more astonished at all the good in the midst of a storm.

I have had storms in my own life. I have had moments of freaking out and crying out to God and not believing that anything could be fixed. I have even told God that He did not have anything under control because my life was not going the way I planned. But just when I thought I wouldn't have a job, that I would be left to drown in my own debt, He astonished me by not only providing a job for me, but also earning enough to pay off the loans. How could I not love this amazing God who has my whole life in His hands?

I am reminded of the song by Casting Crowns "I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands You are who You are. No matter where I am." It keeps running through my head. Just when I think my world is going crash around me and never survive, He proves that He is yet again, God. He can take care of me no matter where I am and no matter what my circumstance. I just need to Be Still, Be Joyful, and Have Faith. I praise God in this storm.

These photos were taken from the facebook site taken by others in the city.

Hope

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. {Romans 8:24-25}

This verse has really been amplified in my life lately. It is so easy to shove off God's promises and get caught up in the worry game. If you don't know me very well, I like to have a plan. I am very organized and schedules and deadlines work fantastic for me. I like to even have a backup plan, to make sure I'm safe. Now this may be due partly from the fact that I am a girl. We do like to have order. It often comes to a point that I start telling God how my life should be run. I start giving Him a deadline and giving Him my agenda. But the thing is, it doesn't work that way. I don't know what is going to happen at the end of the road. But God does. It is actually irrelevant that we make plans at all because God is the only who sees everything anyways. God sure does know what He is doing. I often think He is out of His mind and then I stand corrected. 

I was starting to get frustrated being unemployed for so long. I would get bored and try to do something that would give me some sort of sense of accomplishment. I got used to having a schedule completely open. It was nice to hang out with friends whenever I wanted. Every day I prayed an pursued the promise God gave me. He wanted me to stay in Minneapolis for a reason, He wouldn't just leave me in the dust to fend for myself with an enormous mountain of debt. My God provides. Even at times I didn't think I would ever find a job, I still prayed and I still sought God's will. And He blessed it. It happened so fast and it'll take a little bit to get used to. I got a call from the temp agency with a job. They asked me if I could start right away. I said "Yes please." and off I went to my new job. In a snap my whole world changed.

In this time, I have been able to spend time with God and seek out His face. It has been hard, but I think I also needed the rest. He knows me better than I know myself. I can start planning and dreaming about all these wonderful and incredible things, but God knows me better. He has a far better plan for my life. 

Thank you Jesus for providing a job and taking care of me.

The Waiting Game

It's been two weeks since I graduated and it's been two weeks since I have been searching for a job. The status: unemployed. It's a bit daunting to say the least. When I know that God will provide for my every need, I still get a little antsy at times. I'll admit, I'm kind of impatient right now. I think in our culture we are so caught up in being busy and always having something going on that we never take time to even smell the roses. We have to schedule time to smell the roses. I have applied to so many places and haven't heard from anything yet. I'm also going through a couple temp agencies and both said that managers aren't willing to commit. I guess I'm just gonna have to keep playing this waiting game.

What am I doing in the mean time? Keeping busy. Since I am only granted sunlight for four hours each day in my dungeon of an apartment, I have been seeking sunlight other places (A.K.A. outside). I have been seeking fresh air and going for walks. Usually what I've been doing is taking my new camera along, plugging in my newly found ipod, and just spending time with Jesus, enjoying His creation. I have been forcing myself to get out at least once a day to at least feel like I've accomplished something, even if that meant taking pictures. I've also been watching A LOT of Netflix. I'm changing it so that I am now only watching it at night or if it's rainy. After several days of doing the same thing over and over again, it gets a bit boring, I'll admit. Especially doing it on my own.

For about a day I started feeling like I didn't have any friends because no one has really called me. You know how that goes. Everyone at some point has gone through that. Well, then I realized that I should call all my friends and let them know that I am available. Once I did, I started to get busy again. Now, in the mean time of trying to find a job, I am not only hanging out in the dungeon and reading a book, I am also getting out. Last night I also had a freak out moment over not having a job. After two weeks, it can be a bit hard. It doesn't look like anything promising is coming. Well, I was reminded that God has everything in control. He has promised that He would take care of me. So I am now going to enjoy this time while I have it. I know God has it under control and there is no need for me to worry. My God is a God of promises. He is faithful to the end and even then, He will never fail. He is so unbelievably patient. I absolutely do not deserve His love or His promises but He gives them anyways because He delights in me.

To those waiting on God's promises, this is for you. I just finished the book of John and I came across the story of the blind man. The one that Jesus put mud in his eyes and spit on them and then told him to go wash up. People would ask if this man was blind because his parents did something wrong or if he had sinned. Then Jesus said, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." I have this as a reminder. It's not that this period of unemployment is a punishment for me, but it's a time of rest, renewal, and a time for God to show once again that He is God. It also says in Matthew that He cares for the needs of the sparrows. If He cares so much about the needs of the sparrows, you think He'll care more about your own needs? God's plans are always better than we ever planned for ourselves. We just have to play the waiting game with Him.

The Tale of the Lost Lens Cap

So for graduation, I got a DSLR camera. I had been dreaming about owning one since I was about 17. I just about cried when I opened it. I didn't think it was real for a while. I had been dreaming about this camera for so long that that's all it seemed to be, just a dream. I have always loved photography since the day I bought (with my own money I might add) my first camera. I had always wanted to be a photographer. In case you were wondering how old I was when I started talking pictures, I was 6. I had a little hot pink 110 exposure camera with a lime green bracelet. I was so proud of that thing. I took it everywhere with me. From this camera birthed the desire to be a photographer and capture memories. Well, fast forward 18 years and now I have a state of the art camera that I can switch out the lenses. This is my baby. I am extremely proud to be the owner of this camera. I can do so many things with it that I could only dream of doing with a straight shot. Well, to make a long story short, I lost my lens cap. I had no idea where it was. It was way after I had left the park that I realized it was gone. I searched through all my things and it was no where to be found. I was slightly frustrated because here I have a brand new camera and what do I do? I loose the lens cap. Great!

While I was searching my apartment I kept getting a feeling that it was at that park. So I drove all the way to the park. It's funny to think that I would waste gas and energy just for a small piece of plastic. Although that may be all it will ever be for some people, that worthless piece of plastic fits on my lens just perfectly to protect from scratching. Nothing else could take its place. So if I did not have that lens cap, it would scratch my lens and the quality of my photos would be horrible. Hence a now worthless lens. But I drove to this park and when  I got out of the car, I had a feeling I needed to walk to the second bench. So I did and I stood there looking at the ground and I found myself saying, "Ok, now what?" then I got the feeling I needed to turn left. And there it was. I had never seen anything so beautiful. My lens cap just sitting in the grass waiting for me to come and rescue it.

In that moment I was so overwhelmed by the love God has for me. He led me every step of the way. He told me exactly where it was. The thing that gets me is that He is such a great God that He didn't even have to worry about my lens cap. It's something so huge in my life, but so small and insignificant in His. But yet, He loved me so much to take care of my camera because He knows how much that camera means to me. I realized, God has everything under control. He has control over my job, my finances, and my life. If He can show concern about a little worthless piece of plastic, He is more concerned about the bigger things in my life. Wow! What a great God I serve! Thank you Jesus for showing me where my lens cap was.

Memories

Lately, all I've been thinking about are all the good times I've had here at North Central. I have so many fond memories of my time here. Here is a brief journey of my college experiences.

Freshman Year:

My first Funky Night. It was also my first night living in the dorms. I was so scared and insecure. I felt like such a dork wearing that outfit. My family kept making sure I would go. I almost didn't. I'm so glad I did.

This was taken at fall retreat. Drea was my first friend at North Central. We actually met at orientation. We became roommates second semester.

 

My third missions trip. Utah March '08. I never would have thought of going somewhere else in the States for a missions trip. But I learned so much. I'm still friends with one of them.

Sophomore Year:

This is actually one of my favorite memories. None of us had ever been to the Build-A-Bear workshop and wanted to make a day out of it. We took the lightrail to the MOA and we ended up getting matching bears. I still have mine.

When attending North Central, it is a necessity to get at least one set of silhouette pictures against the red wall at the Guthrie. My floor, 4 Central, went out for a Life Core event to just have fun taking pictures. I will never forget this. It was such a fun night. 

THIS was my second fall retreat. Yes I just realized I was wearing the same sweatshirt as I did the year prior. And also take note of the length of my hair. Holy cow! This was actually the best brother sister floor, 4 Central and 1 West. We decided to go out to the park and jump the slide... or attempt. Every one got a turn and everyone made it... eventually. :)

We're just some hot babes goin' out on the town for our last bro/sis event to Annie's Parlor.

4 Central floor picture. I loved this floor and made friends that will last forever. 

Junior Year:

Best friends. Life would be so hard without them. 

She is always cracking me up! She always has the funniest expressions. I love her. 

This is the summer after my junior year. Spent a month with all these wonderful people for my ICS field trip. This is the real deal. The Taj Mahal is such a spectacular sight. I am so grateful for this experience and the chance to get to know everyone on this trip. I've grown so much on this trip. 

Senior Year:

We were on our way to the apple orchard for a bro/sis event. It was so fun to take pictures and bond with our floors. The apple orchard is always great to go to in the fall.

Spies for Halloween.

We went out swing dancing and had a great time. Fell in love with the dance and grew an interest to pursue it more.

My roommate, Caiti Jo, was changing her sheets and what better place to stack everything than on the roommate? 

Last day of seeing Courtney before she moved to Japan. We realized we didn't have any pictures together. So we decided to change that.

Fulfilled my lifelong dream of going to Europe. I spent to months in Germany for my internship. While being there, I fell in love the historical cities and the beautiful people. Germany will forever have a stamp on my heart.

Super Senior:

Casey Mack got married! It was such a great roadtrip and so fun to hang out with the old floor again. Casey was a beautiful bride. Absolutely stunning.

Mia had a birthday and we went out to celebrate. It was so fun celebrating at The Melting Pot.

Liz and I partnered for Intercultural Studies. We made a great team. I was blown away by this event. Typically we had 5 people show up, this one, we had 18 people show up to pumpkin carving event. 

I was on Ninedays Prayer Team this year. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would ever be on a prayer team, let alone praying for a specific team. It was an amazing time getting to know everyone on the team and being stretched in a powerful way. I look back on this as a time when I grew so much.

Our class was invited to hang out at the Wajda's. I have never had so much fun. I really enjoyed the conversations and the laughs. I am so happy for the connections I have made while being here at NCU. Can't wait to see where everyone ends up.

Tada! I did it! All those years of blood, sweat, and tears have finally paid off. I honestly did not think this day was possible for myself. I have grown so much into the person I am today. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for God. He kept me going strong all these years. Thank you Jesus for keeping your promises.

Thank you for walking through memory lane with me. It was great revisiting some of these old memories that I am so fond of. I have had my share of laughter and my share of tears. I've made so many friends along the way that will last a lifetime. Now I must close this chapter of my life. A chapter consisted of late night Burger King runs, random hang outs that go well into the morning, inside jokes that only the floor will understand, and community right outside my door. A chapter full of amazing chapel services, moments when I grew and I met with God at the altar, Praise Gathering services, prayer rooms, and deep discussions about God with friends. A phase consisted of cramming for tests, working all hours of the night writing papers, learning how to procrastinate, having coffee at 8 pm due to massive amounts of homework, and learning valuable lessons along the way. This may be cliche and sentimental, but this has been 5 years of my life. One of which I am now forced to now close this chapter forever. Although I have to say goodbye to one phase of my life, I am now happy to open another chapter. This chapter does not yet have a title.... or maybe it does. I think I'll call it "Living." So hello to no homework and doing life how I want to. Hello to never having to write another paper again (for a while at least). And..... hello debt.

Reflections

Around this time of year, students tend to reflect on the semester or even the year. Reflections on how far God brought them. I love looking back and seeing how evident God is in my life. I see things that as I was living in the moment, it was not evident that God was in control because of everything else taking my attention away. But having lived in the situation and gone past it, I see how much I have grown. But this entry isn't just about how much I've changed this semester or this year. It's about this whole chapter of my life coming to a close. In about a week, I will be walking across a stage towards a very important document. That document is what I have been working so hard for all these years. My diploma.

I came straight from high school into college. Many people tell me they are surprised that I even took that step instead of taking a break. But I knew that if I did not push forward and pursue the next calling God had for me, I would not only regret it, but I would probably not follow through with it. It never entered my mind that I could take a break, I wanted to go to college and have that experience. Another thing people said to me was they were so surprised that I moved 2 1/2 hours away from home, away from my comfort. Believe me, I didn't want to move so far away from home. I was scared out of my mind. I was moving to a bigger city and I had no idea what that would look like. Although I was scared out of my mind to be moving away from the one thing I knew, from the one comfort I had, I knew that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I had not obeyed God. So I went for it. I took the plunge and I obeyed God.

I started learning responsibility, important lessons about relationships, about myself, about God, and His calling on my life. In the beginning, I didn't think I was college material at all. But there was a Voice that kept saying "You are worth it. You have so much to offer." I would doubt that Voice, but as weird as it may be, that was the only true and constant thing I had. I mean I had people speaking into my life, but I had such a hard time accepting it because my insecurities got in the way. But that Voice (God) would speak louder than my insecurities and that peaked my curiosity and made me want to pursue this dream I had. I would get excited every time I thought about it. In the early years of college, I struggled so much with my academics. So much so, that I almost got dismissed from school. If it wasn't for God, I would not be in college right now getting ready to graduate. In the moments when it felt like my world was caving in, I would cry out to God and give Him control. And He remained faithful. It is because of God that I was able to stay here every semester and every year. It is to God alone that the credit belongs to.

Many of you may not know this about me, but I was diagnosed with a learning disability. As you can imagine, it made things very difficult. I can't do this on my own. I need God. I have learned to seek after Him with all that I am. In the beginning, He promised me that I would graduate from North Central. The God I serve keeps His promises. He is a Man of His Word. He has never backed down on anything.... EVER. I'll be honest, there were times that I would get so frustrated with the school thing and the learning and the struggling that I would just give up. One semester, I actually tried to be dismissed. But God said, "No. I have greater plans for you than you ever realized. I have called you for a greater purpose than what you have for yourself. I am not finished with you yet." So I continued to do the best that I could and was amazed how far God took me at the end of every semester. A theme I have in my life is 'Be Still, Be Joyful, and Have Faith.' My life verse is Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." I have had to learn to just be still, be joyful in the moment, and have faith that God will keep His promises.

I also learned so much about myself. I used to be so shy and so afraid of talking to people of what they might think of me. Now, I am a completely different person. I am totally confident in who I am in Christ and not only just that but I really, honestly think that God made me to be an amazing person. I look at all the qualities I have and they all describe me so well. After taking all these personality tests I realize that not only am I amazing but God is a strategic thinker. He put qualities that make me to be unique. They define me and show me what I am meant to do and be. I serve a dynamic God who put so much thought into my existence.  I'm not an accident. I was created for a purpose. Throughout my journey here, I have made so many amazing friends and I can't wait to see where every one goes with their lives. I am so excited for the connections I have. I love who I am, who God created me to be, and the calling He has on my life.

Now you may be asking, "So what are you going to do now?" and some of you may be asking,"Are you still going to Sweden?" Well, it's kind of confusing. Maybe. When I first came to North Central, I knew I was supposed to be a missionary. I also wanted to go to Sweden and plant churches. As I got older, I started to realize my love for the church. I love church. I cannot describe it enough or stress it enough. I love that we are the Bride of Christ and I love how the Body of Christ is meant to be. My dream has always been to go to Sweden and teach people of what the church looks like and train them to be leaders of the church. I love how the church has different aspects and different gifts. I can go on and on about my love for the church. So my love for Sweden kind expanded to the rest of Europe. And I would say "I am only going to Europe. That is all." But when I started to hear of people groups who do not know God and have no church, I would an ache in my heart that I need to go and share God's love with them. Recently, plans changed a little. One day God said, "What if I called you to the world?" At that moment, I still had my agenda set for Sweden and I kept arguing and said, "But God, you broke your promise to me. You said Sweden." But then He said something that I will never forget, "I called you to the unchurched." As you can imagine, I shut up and let God talk. And that could mean Sweden, that could mean Italy or Turkey. That could mean Uganda or India. I started to take my focus off a little and realized, "Hey, I am called to the world. I'm not limited to just one place. I can go anywhere God calls me." So yes, I could someday be a missionary to Sweden and that may be where I end up for the rest of my life. Or I could end up in Boston, or Australia. But now I say I am called to be a global church planter. Isn't that awesome!?! I love that title!

What is my next step after graduation? Glad you asked. I have big plans. :) I have grown a desire to be a translator. When I did my internship in Germany, people would translate for me all the time and I kept thinking "Man! I really want to be on the other end and translate for other people." Since then, that's all I've been thinking about. I get excited about it and that's all I want right now. This is my next step.... eventually. I am planning to not make plans and just do what God wants me to do. I get excited every time I talk about my future. I have a stinkin' awesome future and am so excited for this new chapter in my life.

Summer Reading List

Since I will be graduated and will have plenty of time on my hands, I am looking forward to getting caught up on my reading. I am about to make up for lost time for the five years of required reading keeping me from reading for fun. Here's what I got.

1. The Hunger Games
2. Lord of the Rings
3. P.S. I Love You 
4. Mere Christianity
5. The O'Malley Series
6. Eat, Pray, Love
7. Memoirs of a Geisha
8. Inheritance Cycle 

Any other suggestions are welcome. 

One Month

As of today, there is exactly one month left until my graduation date. Most people would be excited and just dying of anticipation. I would be, however, I have enormous amounts of work I have to get done before then. So for now, I'm dreading that date. For one HUGE reason is my senior project. It has been looming over my mind all semester. At this point, I just want to be done. I want everything finished. If I could have a personal assistant, that would be swell. Although I have a big 30 page paper to write, I also have the regular day-to-day assignments demanded of other classes. Thus the stress level goes up 70%. Brilliant.

This week I had been so busy just stressing out over this and in my mind accepting the fact that I would be so happy to take an incomplete and finish this summer. My adviser had a different idea. She still thinks I can get it on time. So.... I'm still working on it, along with all my other assignments. (*Deep sigh* Breathe Amy. You can do this. One step at a time)

Over and over again, God would keep reminding me that he has this under control and that I don't need to worry about it. Being a member of the human race, I have a natural tendency to worry about such things. I was just reminded that God is bigger. Since I was a freshman all the way up to now, God has been proving himself faithful. He promised that I would graduate. I don't think God would take me part of the way and then desert me. He is a God of promises and he intends on taking care of me. Now, I may be worrying about the little things that add up to one big thing, but in retrospect, it's not my job to worry. All I need to do is obey.

Tonight I was reminded of my life theme which is "Be Still. Be Joyful. Have Faith." Then Exodus 14:14 came to mind which is "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." Really, how great is that? The Lord will fight for me. This is my battle and he is willing to fight it for me, I just need to be still. Along with being still, I was also reminded of the story of the Israelites fighting the Amalekites. When Moses had his arms up, the Israelites were winning, but when his arms were down, the Amalekites were winning. So in that position of being still, I need raise my hands in surrender to my God and just worship him for who he is. God cares for me more than he cares for the sparrows and he meets their needs.

When I look up in the sky and see all the stars, I think how great of a God I serve, and I feel so small and insignificant. The fact that the God who showed how mighty and great he is with the stars and planets can care for my every need. He holds my world in his hands. So in exactly one month, I will not only defeat this last obstacle, I will conquer! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I believe that in this last month, I will have tremendous amount of strength. I know I will look back at this and know that God had his hand in it the whole time.

My Summer To Do List

As the days get warmer and closer and closer to the end of my semester, I keep thinking of all the things I want to do this summer. I'm pretty excited about what I have so far.

1. Read..... FOR FUN!
2. Road trip to Canada?
3. Road trip to the Badlands
4. Mt. Rushmore?
5. Wisconsin Dells
6. Attend a wedding or two.... or three or four....
7. Enjoy the freedom of hanging out with my friends without the obligation of homework looming over
8. Buy a new camera (wishful thinking. crossing fingers. maybe start saving.)
9. Show up to family functions (as I won't have an entire ocean to keep me from going)
10. Go to the beach
11. Get an awesome tan
12. Celebrate the 4th with friends
13. Go to a Twins game
14. Minnesota State Fair
15. Valleyfair
16. See The Avengers
17. Have (several) BBQ's
18. Go to some birthday parties
19. Hold some babies I love beyond measure
20. Take advantage of my bike
21. Rollerblade?
22. Canoe
23. Camping
24. Swimming
25. Hiking
26. Fly a Kite
27. Explore my new city and take advantage of it
28. Check out the Swedish Institute
29. Spend time with my Creator and dive deeper in the Word
30. ..... work..... 
31. Mark some things off my Bucket List

What are you doing for your summer? I'd love to hear what your plans are.

Solitude

This weekend I went on a silent retreat. It was actually a class assignment where we literally escaped from the world and were hermits. It's called a hermitage retreat. It's kind of funny thinking about it because in our culture, especially being college students, we tease about being hermits. In this retreat, there are several hermitages, which I felt more comfortable just calling them cabins. They are quite a distance from each other but in that time, we are asked not to talk. There is literally a sign asking to respect the silence. It is comforting to know that everyone else is doing the same thing. There were moments of seeing others, which were extremely awkward at times because we weren't supposed to talk.... at all!

Well, this weekend, I had the chance to be one. It wasn't an extremely life changing moment. It was definitely a time for reflection and spending time with my Creator. When I spent time in my cabin, it was just a lot of time of reflection and just being renewed. It was nice not having to do anything or race somewhere. I could wake up whenever I wanted and I had no agenda. It was great. However, there were moments when I began to panic and would start listing off all the things I needed to do when I came back from retreat. I would start to freak out when I thought about my senior project, and then my sermon, and then my science, and then..... be still. I heard that still small voice. God wanted to spend time with me. I was concerned about something that in essence will not matter in just over a month. God promised he had it all under control. He calmed the storm raging within me.

During this weekend, I think I was finally able to really grieve over the loss of dear friend of mine who passed away in October. The first night I started to cry and weep and it became uncontrollable. After all this time of needing to get it out, and all the other stressers I've had lately, it felt good to cry. It felt so good to get that burden lifted off my shoulders. It is still hard at times to think about Mandy, but it's comforting to know that she is happy rejoicing our Savior face to face. I miss her more than words can express and I wish I could call her up and get caught up on life. But all that doesn't really matter.

I had been reading through Matthew and the overlying theme here is that God is in control. As much as I want to take control of the situations in my life (school, work, relationships, etc.) I have to let God take control of my life and have faith that He has a plan far greater than my own. Now that I'm back, I am taking life one day at a time. When I start to look at the bigger picture, I start to get stressed because it looks so impossible. But then I just stop, take a deep breath, and take it one day at a time. I need to do my best and God can take me the rest of the way. Right now my worship is to be a student.

By the Authority Vested in Me

I have just gone on a deeper level with God. It's amazing. Remember those moments in youth group you started getting a word from God? And you know it was God because after you did it you not only felt so much better but there was confirmation after you did it. I had so many of those moments. I remember going to youth group and getting that feeling I had to pray for a friend up at the altar. Or I would be at camp and I felt I needed to tell someone something that made no sense to me, but by the reaction, it was God moving through me.

Then I continued my walk with God and started going on missions trips and these feelings would get stronger. There would be times that I would think, "If God is telling me what to do or what to say, why can't He do it Himself? He's God isn't He? He created the whole world. Why does He need me to talk to this person?"

I just finished reading through the book of Ezekiel and that's all it was about. God would always tell Ezekiel what to say and he would do it. There was one significant story that really grabbed my attention. Many of us have heard this story. God told Ezekiel to speak to the dry bones to become flesh. Ezekiel obeyed with every word he was told. What really got me thinking is of course God could very well have done that all by Himself and could have proved how big He is again. Although God could have done it Himself, He wanted Ezekiel to do it because he instilled an authority that was being validated in that moment. (It's in Ezekiel 37 if you want to look up for yourself)

In those moments God is telling us what to do or what to say, He is validating our authority. How cool is that? We have an authority to speak into someone's life or tell the demons to flee. God wants to include you in His giant plan. He created you for such a purpose. We may think He could never want to include us but that is just the opposite. When He created you, He thought,"Man, I can't wait to see how I can use this person." You are uniquely formed..... given with authority. When I think about that, I just want to praise Him because He could have looked me over and decided not to include us in His great plan, but He did!

My Dare List (A.K.A. Bucket List)

Recently I've been thinking about my bucket list again and daydreaming about going on different adventures and trying new things. I love dreaming about the future and all the possibilities that go along with it. I have so many adventures I want to do and I want to be able to be that grandma that has all those cool stories and inspires others to be daring. I decided to call it my dare list because there are things on here that I normally wouldn't have done. This list is daring me to step out of my comfort zone and reach for the impossible. I love that feeling of being on top of the world and feeling like I can conquer anything. So here it goes. I hope you enjoy.

1. Marry the man of my dreams
2. be a mom
3. have twins
4. adopt a child
5. go to every state
6. road trip the outline of Minnesota
7. Stand behind Minnehaha Falls when they're frozen
8. Vacation in Door County
9. Stay at a B&B
10. Learn to drive a stick shift
11. Go on a Disney Cruise
12. road trip the outline of the U.S.
13. go to Vermont in the fall
14. go to the Thanksgiving Day Parade in NYC
15. be there when the ball drops
16. ice skate in Central Park
17. stand on the top of the Empire State Building
18. go to a Broadway show
19. see the Lion King on Broadway
20. go to any Disney on Broadway
21. dance on the Brooklyn Bridge with my special guy
22. see the Statue of Liberty
23. go to Boston
24. go to Hershey, Pennsylvania
25. visit the chocolate factory
26. see the Niagara Falls
27. See Chattangooga's Ruby Falls
28. ride in a horse drawn carriage in Canal Park
29. go to Disney World
30. go to the southern most part of America
31. see the Alamo
32. see Mt. Rushmore
33. go to Yellowstone
34. Go through Watkins Glen State Park
35. See Yosemite's Horsetail Falls in February
36. hike in the Badlands
37. go to Glacier National Park
38. Hike through Washington's forests
39. Hike through an ice cave in Mendenhall Glacier
40. see the Grand Canyon
41. see the Hoover Dam
42. go to Hollywood Blvd
43. see the red carpet
44. drive on the Golden Gate Bridge
45. Drive on the Seven Mile Bridge
46. go to the northern most part of America
47. ride in a limo
48. go through a haunted house
49. Find a coffee shop I can call "my own" and the people there remember me
50. Try eating crab
51. stand on an iceberg
52. see a whale in the wild
53. go on a road trip from Portland to Portland
54. travel the world
55. go overseas 
56. max out my passport
57. visit the same country more than once
58. go to every continent
59. attend an international wedding
60. see the seven wonders of the world
61. See the Helmcken Falls
62. Go to Vancouver
63. Three story treehouse in Revelstoke
64. go to Australia
65. scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
66. go to New Zealand
67. jump off the top of the tallest building in Aukland
68. go to China
69. walk on the Great Wall
70. walk through the Forbidden City
71. go to India
72. ride an elephant
73. ride a camel
74. rode trip through Europe
75. visit a castle
76. go to Svalbard
77. road trip on the Atlantic Highway
78. go to Germany
79. see Corrie ten Boom's house
80. visit a concentration camp
81. drive on the auto bahn
82. go to Switzerland
83. see the Alps
84. go to France
85. go to Turkey
86. go to Israel
87. see the Wailing Wall
88. walked on streets Jesus walked on
89. walk on Golgatha
90. Go to Italy
91. ride a moped in Italy
92. ride on a gondola
93. see the Colosseum
94. see the Tower of Pisa
95. see the Sistine Chapel
96. go to Greece
97. go to Plitvice Lakes, Croatia
98. go to Egypt
99. go to Ireland with my dad
100. go to Ireland for St. Patrick's Day
101. ride in a double decker in London
102. Convince someone I am from England
103. Use my MN accent for a whole day
104. ride in the world's largest ferris wheel
105. ride the train through the English Chanel
106. go to Iceland
107. go to Greenland
108. road trip to around the Great Lakes
109. go to Prince Edward Island
110. see Green Gables
111. go on a cruise
112. become a translator
113. graduate from college 
114. Read the Quran 
115. Read the Book of Mormon
116. Read all the works by C.S. Lewis
117. be a photographer
118. windsurf
119. surf
120. scuba dive
121. go sailing
122. water ski
123. go parasailing
124. run a half marathon
125. learn to swing dance
126. dance in the rain
127. go to work when I wasn't scheduled
128. grow my hair down to my waist
129. get my nose pierced
130. have a song either written for me or dedicated to me
131. get a tattoo
132. ride in a hot air balloon
133. be part of a food fight
134. do most of the things on this list with my future husband
135. fly a kite
136. finish a puzzle
137. learn tennis
138. play piano well
139. learn the violin
140. learn the ukulele
141. have a dog
142. learn the guitar
143. read the Bible cover to cover

I hope this inspired you. I'm open to new suggestions if you wanna share your Dare List with me. Happy dreaming.

God Punishes Out of Love

It has been awhile since my last blog. But that's expected of college students, especially college students who are preparing to graduate soon. Less than 70 days! Woohoo!

I recently went through the book of Jeremiah. Let me tell ya it was not the most fun read I've ever gone through. It was hard to keep going and difficult to apply to my life at times. But needless to say, I did it. Now having read through the whole thing, I see a different side of God. It is very apparent in this book that God is an angry God. All throughout the rest of the Bible, we see a lot of stories of God's grace and his goodness. But we never focus on the wrath of God. I think we are too afraid to talk about it or face it.

The image I kept getting was a picture of a father disciplining his child. God is very much like our father. He has made us promises and intended to protect us. However, he has also warned us that if we don't do what he asks, then there will be consequences. How many times have our parents warned us that if we don't listen there will be consequences? I will be the first to admit that I didn't always believe my parents would follow through on things and I would disobey. Since I disobeyed, I had to deal with the consequences. I didn't like it. In fact I hated it when I got in trouble. At the time I thought, "If you really love me you wouldn't take away these privileges." or "If you really love me, you wouldn't ground me."  But looking back, I realize that my parents punished me because they love me. I learned to never do it again and that when my parents say I'll have consequences, they mean it.

My parents never wanted to punish me. They hated having to punish me. But they knew that if they didn't, I would never learn to listen to their authority. I wold look at them as a joke. I now value and respect their authority. I have become a better person because of the consequences I have gone through. They weren't fun, but if I hadn't gone through them, I never would have learned to grow.

Even with my relationship with God I would be warned not to do something and I would ignore it. I would brush it off and say,"You don't really mean that. You won't do anything to me. I'm your child. You love me." But when I ignored Him, I got into trouble. There was nothing He could do at that point, He did warn me. Now I have to deal with the consequences. It is so hard but it was my choice. I learned my lesson.

As long as you continue to listen to God and learn from your mistakes, He will keep directing you guiding you along the way. However, if you choose to continue to ignore Him, He won't always be there. Just like if your parents keep warning you against something and you continue to ignore them, they will eventually stop telling you. There comes a point that that Voice will stop because you keep ignoring it. It's the same principle as if your friend keeps ignoring you. After a while you'll soon get the message and stop talking to them.

God only wants the best for us. If He tells us to do something that seems impossible, that is all the more reason to trust Him because He alone knows all things and sees all things. He will be with you every step of the way, even if you stumble.

It's OK to Think You're Cool

Recently I have been evaluating myself. Just looking at who I am, my personality, how I respond to people, my strengths, my spiritual gifts and my calling. As a teenager, I didn't see anything beautiful or anything really awesome at all. I used to point out everything wrong within myself. I would feel worse about myself after just saying "Woah! Look at all those pimples! Gross." or "Why can't anyone talk to me? I'm just too quiet. No one would ever want to talk to me." Over the years I've realized that God delights in me. He gave me specific qualities making me the unique, beautiful, and amazing woman God intended me to be.

I love talking about my strengths, talents, and spiritual gifts. I've started to see an even bigger picture of who God intended me to be. In those moments I just stand in awe and say, "Wow! God you made one awesome person! I can't believe the qualities you put in this person. To make things even better, this person is me! I am so cool!" God delights when we take pleasure in his creation. I don't think he ever wants us to point out all of our flaws and feel horrible about ourselves. He wants us to enjoy who we are and delight that he put all these qualities together for a reason.

After God created land and sea and the heavens and the earth, God saw that it was good. But after he created Adam and Eve, he it was very good and then he rested. There is no mistake. I remember crying out to God and saying "What do you see in me? God, I'm positive you made a mistake when you created me." God made you for a reason. God doesn't make mistakes. He loves and accepts you for who you are.

I just want to encourage you to start delighting in who God created you to be. He made you to be an awesome person. God only makes cool people. He never makes mistakes. Start evaluating yourself and taking pleasure in the little things. When you start delighting in yourself, you not only become a happier person, but you also just want to glorify God even more for being an awesome Creator.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

"He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and might in power; his understanding has no limit." Psalm 147:4-6

The House

Today I was thinking about my journey through college and my victories and failures. When I first came to college I was so excited about following the dream God gave me. I knew this was the next step to my calling. But there were moments when I had too many of my own plans and I just wanted to get working on the ministry God called me to do. I remember spending hours daydreaming about my future. When I came back to reality, I would get frustrated being stuck where I was. I would cry out to God saying it wasn't fair that I couldn't do what he called me to. After I get all of that out of my system, God puts me in my place and says that I am placed in college to get the tools I need to succeed in my ministry. It is the first step to following the path he has for me.

It is a lot like if we decide to build a house. For a long time God had told us to build one. We would be dreaming about what this house would look like. We know how big it's going to be and all the in's and out's of it. Then it becomes time to build. The only problem is that we have no idea how. We don't even have the necessary tools, but we certainly have the ambition. Then God comes along and says, "Hey let's go for a ride." Out of frustration we say,"Why do you want me to go for a ride? I need to build a house." But because God always knows what he is doing and we know better than to question him, we get into the car. Still confused at times we argue and say this ride is pointless because we have to get busy building a house. God, in his ever infinite patience, just smiles and says,"Trust me." The end destination: Home Depot. Of course God is taking us to a place where we can get the tools to build a house. In the midst of this, we start to see what God sees for a little bit. We get so excited and just follow God around the store. Are you getting a picture of a dad shopping with his little kid?

After going up and down every single aisle and examining every little thing, like all young children following their parents around in the store, we get bored and start to get impatient. We start tugging on God's arm and say "Come on! Can't we just go? I wanna go build a house now. We've been here FOREVER!" There are times when God is the patient father and just smiles and tells us to wait. Then there are the times when God becomes the stern father and tells us that we are not done at the store yet and we need to settle down and learn patience. It really depends on how long this process takes. If you have been around a child in a store, you can guess that it takes longer just because of the impatience of the child. Not only is this a time of getting all the necessary tools, but it's also a time of just following God and trusting him with everything.

I have had my moments when I wanted to get out of college and felt like it was a complete waste of my time. Then I would be reminded again that this is a necessary step I need to take. I need to learn how to build my house. I can't just stand there and expect it to build itself. I have to get my tools first.

For those of you who are in that place, don't forget about the vision God has given you. Remember that the place you are in is always good for character building. You are in your place to get the tools and learn how to build your dream house. Sometimes your dream house may have to change and be tweaked here and there. After a good tweaking is finished, we look at the picture and see something so much better than we ever planned. But sometimes the problem we have is it always seems too good to be true and we settle for less. We go for what is easy to make because that may be what we know or just what we are used to. But God is calling us to something way bigger than us because he has equipped us. He has given us gifts and abilities that will make our own houses unique.